Monday, July 26, 2010

The Perfect Body

Doesn't exist.

It's no where to be found.

That body is only in movies and magazines.

After spending most of our weekend poolside at the Omni Hotel in Orlando, I realized that the perfect body doesn't exist. Or, at least, it's not found in Orlando. Although I did have my moments of insecurity (very few moments), I made sure to never show that to my children. I swam, I jumped, I floated down the lazy river. Oh, that was heaven on earth!! I enjoyed every moment with my children. Well, not exactly, every moment, but you know what I mean.

I do struggle looking at our pictures from the weekend. Is that really me?

I sit here tonight drinking a bud light with lime and sneaking mini powered donuts every few minutes, hoping nobody sees me, and I wonder how this weight will ever come off?

I look at these pictures and think "I am happy", I really am. I don't feel lost or sad or miserable. I am very much happy. I just know that this isn't the life my God has planned for me. And I know I am not living each day to it's utmost potential. And I know my husband isn't proud to walk side by side with me. I mean, how could he be proud? I'm certainly not the girl he married.

I think I'm going to call it an early night tonight. I would like to get into the habit at least before school starts to get up early. Like before the kids get up so I can have some time with God. I'm not saying that I'm starting that tomorrow, but at least want to start going to bed earlier.

Also, it's been a great weekend and I am wiped!!

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