Wednesday, November 24, 2010


I am thankful that Greg and I have weathered the storms in our marriage.

I am thankful for our greatest gifts, our children.

I am thankful that Bella has her daddy.

I am thankful that Bella is in love with her daddy.

I am thankful for our family. Our Harvey family five.

I am thankful for my mom and her way of making up for my shitty childhood. She is doing some amazing things with my children and giving them happy memories to remember.

I am thankful that I have been able to get up for a 6am kick boxing class the past 3 weeks. Praying for another years worth of early morning wake ups.

I am thankful for my friendship with Jessica. Oh, so thankful. God, she is keeping me grounded and always keeping it real for YOU!

Thankful for GoodLiving and Pam's dedication and for giving me the opportunity to join her on this mission.

I am thankful that we still have our home. God willing, we will have it a bit longer.

I am so very thankful for my Bible and the many marks and highlights in it.

I am thankful for scriptures that have been layed on my heart; although, I cannot remember one of them at this moment.

I am thankful that my husband is also my best friend and he loves me for me, every hundred(s) of pounds of me.

I am thankful for my favorite blogs.

Great is Thy Faithfulness. Thank you Father!

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Great week ahead...

When our plans quickly changed for Thanksgiving when we were officially "uninvited" to Thanksgiving dinner (I know, crazy, but true), we decided that we must have the best Thanksgiving weekend ever. It is important to enjoy our family and truly savor these moments now while our kids are young. We will be going a short distance to Orlando to stay at the Gaylord Palms to experience ICE! and SNOW! We are so looking forward to it.

Funny thing though. I totally forgot we had a puppy. SO....looking for a puppy sitter at the moment. So THAT is what everyone warned me about. It's ok though. God knows our plans and our hearts desire, so all will work out just fine.

I start the food plan portion tomorrow of my KUT program. This starts my 3rd week of training. But now the food gets serious. I have to write everything down specifically and Vickie will ask to see it every week. I will also start doing a 2nd round of cardio in the evenings on Mon, Wed, Friday. That should really step it up. The number on the scale and the measurements are just heart breaking. For over a year now I have listened to the lie in my head over and over and it just amazes me how cunning and baffling the enemy is. It is time for me to re-claim my life and give it to God 100%. My book, Made to Crave, that I've been reading is pretty incredible, but she touches on some deep stuff that I don't want to always look at. One thing that has stood out so much these past few days is, "If we fail to understand how to fill our souls with spiritual nourishment, we will be triggered to numb our longings with temporary physical pleasures". . I mean seriously, did she write this book for me or what?

I don't know if anyone reads this blog, but if you do stop by, I am asking you to pray for my mother in law. Just pray for "birdie". She is living in such bondage. Full of rage and anger and it is so incredibly sad. I pray that God will touch her heart. That the Lord will soften her heart and release some of the denial. I pray that she finds a way to deal with her own past and failures. It is ok. There is so much freedom in forgiveness. I pray that she discovers what unconditional love is. That she will one day truly know and feel true love. Love that a mother has for a child. It's so sad but she doesn't know how to give or receive love and I pray that the chains will be broken for her. Lord, please touch her life, soften her heart to know you and to love Greg. Amen!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

10 Years!!!!

10 years, 10 years!! I just want to scream it from the mountain tops. I am so proud of US. I truly don't believe we would have made it this long if it wasn't for our Heavenly Father. Praise God for whom all our Blessings flow. Thank you Greg for putting up with me. Thank you for being the Godly man and leader that your family craves so much. Thank you for loving me when I haven't been able to love myself. Thank you for encouraging me. I love you!

Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together. Colossians 3:14

Monday, November 15, 2010

Shutterfly Promotion - 50 free cards for Bloggers

How cool is this? 50 free Holiday cards Shutterfly will send you if you just mention this on your blog. I am actually pretty excited about our photo this year. We have some cool ideas and we're hoping to include Ruby in our Christmas card. I am so excited about it actually. I'm not too excited about taking pictures these days - but today I am excited to share the love of Harvey - Family of Five. I am so proud of my family and I am so grateful for the children that God has given to us. Bella, Gavin and Jackson are truly a Blessing and I am reminded more every day how Blessed we are. They are so well behaved and they each have incredible hearts.

OK - now check out some of the designs that I love and I'm thinking about.

I love the simplicity of this card. Starlight Joy.

The colors of this card is perfect and the message it shares is what it's all about. Let's add each of my children and.....Good Blessings!

Pure Elegance!

Which one would you choose?

Merry Christmas! Do you realize how quickly it is coming?

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Whatever You're Doing

Sanctus Real seriously has the best songs with the most real lyrics. It gets me everytime. This morning during KUT, Vickie had all music that I love and with each stretch and pull I was able to praise & worship my King. It was awesome. This song came on and it was a reminder of how mighty God is.

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out

Good stuff!

Friday, November 5, 2010


Not much more to say about that.

I forgot what it felt like to work out and take care of myself. I met Vickie this morning. She is Yaro's wife and is really a super lady. She was tough though. I also learned that we have class on Saturdays too from 8:30-10am. Another ouch!

Today was kickboxing and more cardio. Tues & Thursday is band class. And while I did work out hard yesterday, nothing compared to today. Vickie gave me many compliments and did not have to correct my form much. I remembered quickly how much I love to kickbox. With every punch and jab I prayed harder. There were moments I didn't think I could lift my leg up one more time to jab at the bag. The pain!!!

I know that each bit of pain I endure now is worth every bit.

Vickie is going to shop with me at the grocery store one day after we do our 2 hour assessment. Not sure what all that will entail, but I'm sure it won't look too pretty. Something about taking my picture too in a sports bra. Hmmmm... not too sure about that one.

A verse that keeps popping up in my new book Made to Crave is from Luke 9:23, "If anyone would would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me". This verse comes up in my life often. What does it mean to take up his cross? I'm sure there are many different perspectives on this, but to me, to take up his cross daily is to deny myself and walk with the Lord. I have to deny self first. I have to sacrifice self first. I have to be willing to surrender all to follow Jesus. Am I willing to lose everything to follow Jesus. This is the way to a closer relationship with Jesus.

"Becoming a woman of self discipline honors God and helps me live the godly characteristic of self-control" ~Lysa Terkeurst

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Made to Crave more than just food

5:45am came awfully early this morning. I couldn't believe it though, I got up. Thankfully I put out my clothes and shoes the night before. I have to do this every night. I know it will make a difference. Another Amen is that the studio is only a few seconds away if I make the light. I am so grateful for that.

Yaro - that is the teachers name. He has this gigantic smile at 6am. And his favorite word is "double time". You know what that's like when you're doing squats? Oh, goodness, what have I gotten myself into?

This is a journey. Each day is a gift from God. Another day that I didn't die from killing myself with food. Another day to draw closer to HIM. And boy was I praying with every stretch and pull.

It was hard. But I did it.

A few hours later and I feel great. Thank you Lord for getting me up and motivated today.

I received an advance copy of Lysa Terkeurst new book, Made to Crave. I think she wrote this book with me in mind. And it is incredible to me that it arrived yesterday. The same day that I got a call from Vickie from the studio and on the same day that Pam and I decided to write the story about my journey to good living.

I'll probably be quoting a lot from the book. She talks about how hard it was to admit that she relied on food more than she relied on God. She (me) craved food more than God. Wow, isn't that hard to admit? Could I ever admit that to my friends, my Christian friends? The thing is, is that it is very clear and obvious that I looked to food as my comfort rather than my God as my comfort. My sin is always right out there in front for everyone to see.

Now I need to reflect on the times that food was my comfort, reward, Joy, stress, sadness, happiness. I need to reflect on times in my life where I put food before me in these times. Now is another tough part - digging deep. Digging deep and remembering these times. Here is where I want to shut off, or rather, shut down the computer. Lord, I can do all things, I am more than a conqueror and I was made for more than this. Lord, help me.

I don't have many childhood memories. I do have memories though that are around food as a child. I remember being home alone A LOT and eating. Eating whatever was there. I always wanted to play "restaurant" at my friends house next door because they always had better food. Ironically enough, my mom would not buy ice cream, cookies, etc... and have it in the house very often. But they did. All the time. And I was always eating food at their house. I think food was my comfort growing up because my mom wasn't around. She worked or was out. Food was my friend. It all seems so cliche'. Not sure how to spell that word.

Stress is another time where I find myself grazing through the kitchen. Usually very mindlessly too.

I'm shutting down. Maybe that's enough for now.

Made for more,

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Big Day

Today God answered a huge prayer.

So a few weeks ago I started to walk into this martial arts place off highland, about 40 seconds from my house. I chickened out. I’ve been stalking their website for weeks reading about this KUT program they have. 9 weeks of kickboxing, fitness, exercise, nutrition, etc… I started praying about it and asking if it’s Gods will for me to cover my “journey to Good Living” in the magazine. Did I want to expose myself so much? I left them a message last week to see if there would be any interest. No response.

Today I get a call from Vickie. “Hi, did you give me a magazine at trunk or treat on Sunday”.

OMW – "NO, but Pam my partner did (I guess, I wasn’t there). I left you a message. And I haven’t even told her about you or my idea for the story."

Is this answered prayer?

Tomorrow I start at 6am. It's funny how God works this out, but there's a catch. I have to commit to the mornings. I've always struggled with getting up early, yet, I've always wanted to be up early and exercise in the mornings. And here, it works out, that the only time for me to make this work is by being there at 6am. Come to find out, there are 3 other moms that are in the 6am class.

So instead of wondering if today or tomorrow is the day I'm going to die because my heart can no longer handle all this weight. Today is the day to the rest of my life. Today is the day that I chose to dig deep and have God by my side to guide me on this journey. Today is the day that I crave God and not the food.

It's easier to make excuses than to make changes. I'm tired of all the excuses. God is calling me. It's time to listen!

Please pray for me.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Today is the Day

I go to the doctor for a complete physical. What does that mean really? I want them to run every test they possibly can. I need to see how unhealthy I really am. I know I can look in the mirror and see it, but to me, seeing the numbers from the blood test or having some doctor I don't even know tell me that I am dying a slow death, I think maybe I'll listen. Not sure what it's going to take for me to pull it together. I am extremely uncomfortable. My breathing is shallow. I have heart palpitations. My knees and feet hurt so badly. My lungs wheeze. What else? Physically I am dying.

I was made for so much more.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Enjoy the Puppy

It wasn't love at first sight. But I've watched many the past week just go crazy over this little puppy. Even grown men crumble to pieces at the site of Ruby. Yes, Ruby is her name. I picked out her name. I love her name and I'm starting to love her more.

I was very resentful of Ruby at first. It was a reminder of something else I didn't experience as a child. Along with this time of year, of never carving a pumpkin and yes, never did I have a dog, let alone a puppy. Since Ruby joined the family I've thought a lot about my childhood and how I don't have many fond memories. Nothing that I hold close to my heart with a smile.

The other night Ruby jumped on my lap and she was licking my face and loving on me and I just could not "get it". I was uncomfortable and wanted her to stop. Greg said to me, "Jen, enjoy the puppy, just enjoy the puppy". In that moment I realized that I wasn't allowing myself to really enjoy her. To marvel in the fact that we have this beautiful little puppy. Everyone loves a puppy. Greg reminded me to stop thinking about all that I didn't have growing up, but to enjoy this moment now that our kids are getting to have. "Jen, just enjoy the puppy". So I started to repeat it over and over while loving on Ruby. "Enjoy the puppy, Jen, enjoy the puppy". And slowly the wall started to crumble and I realized what a Joy it is to have this little puppy.

Here's Ruby....

Isn't she precious? I love her!