Friday, July 16, 2010

A Good Day...

It was a good day. I didn't think about food all day. I didn't feel hunger either though. My morning consisted of burnt french toast, the Aunt Jemima kind. Yummy, no syrup, just powdered sugar. Then for lunch we went through Taco Bell on the way to Chanda's to go swimming. Two bean burritos. Then for dinner I made a WW chicken recipe. It was good. Not great. But I would make it again. I noticed that my head wasn't thinking about food like it normally does. Not sure what the difference was here. Maybe because I wasn't home, and we were busy. OR maybe it was because I didn't start it out eating so much sugar. Not sure physiologically what it is, but it was probably more of a spiritual thing. Prayer will work above anything else. I know this, but I must believe it 100%.

I pray that I dig alittle deeper on my little blog here. I want to write more and get some of these crazy thoughts out of my head. I think it would make a difference if I turn to prayer and to my blog to write, then I won't run to the food. Tonight I had some time to myself while Greg took the kids out and Jackson was sleeping. The minute they left I thought about those darn french toasts. I wanted something sweet. I did a lap around the cupboards and realized that there was nothing in the house so I went about my sweeping of the kitchen floors. I thought about it while I swept the floor. Why did I want something sweet? It was really a passing thought. And my grandmother used to always say to me, "wait 5 minutes and the taste won't even be in your mouth anymore". Was that really true? Oh my grandma. I think alot of my "food issues" stems from spending many summers with my grandparents in Dothan Alabama. Some of my earliest memories are with my grandma weighing me every morning. It was she that put me on my first diet at 9 years old. Gosh, I hope I don't ever do that to Bella. Bella constantly is asking about food. It drives me crazy. Today I even yelled at her and said "what do you think will happen to you if you don't eat something right at this very moment". It's just so frustrating. I get really mad at her for always asking about food.

So, I guess I've touched on a few things in this post that I probably need to dig a little deeper with. My grandma, my Bella and of course "digging deeper".

Lord, I pray that I dig deeper in your word and in my spirit. I pray to hold on to your promises and to believe them. Lord, please help me from making excuses. Help me to serve only YOU Father. For you have promised to always be with me, to hold me by my hand, to guide me with Your word and direction and then to take me to your Glory. Father, I want to give you all the Glory in all that I do. Guide me Father. Show me your will and your ways. In your son's precious name!


1 comment:

  1. sweets=comfort.
    And is some of your frustration at bella a kind of projection.
    Fear that she'll have your issues with food, so you are trying to stop her, but in reallity you are replaying the same mistakes your gramma made.
    How do you think you could break that pattern....
    Maybe start taking bella for fun outdoor activities.