Wednesday, October 27, 2010


Well the past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again
I'm reminded of the wrong
That I have said and done
And that devil just wont let me forget

In this life
I know what I've been
But here in your arms
I know what I am

I'm forgiven
I'm forgiven
And I don't have to carry
The weight of who I've been

Sanctus Real

Monday, October 25, 2010


There's been a lot of talk lately about GRACE. Grace givers, grace sharers and grace haters. But how do you give Grace when you don't like someone? And to make it worse, how do you even share openly that you don't even like someone, being that I am called to be the hands and feet of Jesus, and we all know that He likes everyone? So, how do I extend this Grace to people that I don't really like. People that I don't even want to spend a minute alone in a room with? How do I extend the same Grace that I receive daily to those that I don't even think about most days?

That's so not Christ-like.

And this is one of those tough things as a Christian that I struggle with. Among many other things. But this is the flavor this week. GRACE.

Do I truly know what Grace feels like?

Beautiful Grace. That is what this is about right? I take off on my Grace Discovery journey.

Grace is an undeserved free gift, undeserved favor, and undeserved love. (from Seek God).

All of the other religions of the world offer salvation by works. They say if you become good enough you can work your way to God, you must go through procedures and sufferings and rituals to get to God. Some religions say that you can become a god, this appeals to man's pride. Just as when pride entered into Satan and he said, "I will be like the Most High God", and he became God's enemy. The new age religions all pickup on this theme, that you can become a god. It is not new; even in the Garden of Eden Satan tempted Eve by telling her if she ate the fruit that she would become like God. (from Seek God).

(Ephesians 2:8-9 NKJV) For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, {9} not of works, lest anyone should boast. Everything about our relationship with God depends upon us trusting Him in faith, by resting in His grace. We are to come to Him as a little child saying, "Daddy pick me up", and He does, Then He caries us. (Isaiah 46:4 NIV) Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

So what gets in the way of receiving God's Beautiful Grace?

For me...pride, ego, sin, lies. And as a Christian, I experience all of these on a daily basis. So why is it that some of the verses in the bible I take to heart but other verses I choose to ignore? Why is it that so many of us Christians are sitting in our Church pews in so much pain and anger and resentment and pride and still asking for God to Bless us? I'm starting to understand that God cannot bless my life if I am being disobedient to Him. Partial obedience is total disobedience to God.

I don't have the answers.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Toxic Family

Why is it that the family we are born with can really suck sometimes? Not just sometimes but most of the time? Yet, the family that we grow in Christ with is the family that God truly intended for us to be with. Greg and I are so grateful for our spiritual families. Greg got some pretty deep information this weekend about his parents and we're just trying to process it all. My intention is to hurt them and yell and get back at them - totally not Christ like. Greg, in his Godly ways, is processing it and full of prayer and gratitude. Why is it that my reaction is sometimes not the most Christ like reaction at first? I love how some people can immediately stop and pray and listen for what God wants them to do next. I, in other words, I react and get all emotional and want to be right, right, right. It's so annoying. I'm such a work in progress. But aren't we all. Greg knows in his heart that God has intended for all that was done to him to be used for good. Genesis 50:20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

In other news... Experience Church launched and it's so awesome. I am excited for what God is doing and going to do.

I hope to get back to coming here and writing. It's that consistency thing.