Breaking Free

Find Satisfaction in God - Overcome Idolatry

That is the title to this mini booklet that I have on Breaking Free by Beth Moore. I did "sort of" do this study once before, but like with most of the bible studies I do, I attend the weekly gathering, but don't pick up the book or do my homework during the week. Kind of like I was in high school, but that's another subject.

Beth notes Isaiah 55:2 which says, "Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare".

This verse has nothing to do with money, but everything to do with finding satisfaction in God rather than the world. It's about contentment. It's about the peace that surpasses all understanding and I only receive this from the Lord. God is whispering in my ear, "me first, me first". And I casually ignore him. Putting so many other things first.

Beth Moore believes that, "God creates a nagging dissatisfaction in everyone for an excellent reason". Only God can satisfy our need completely. That aching, that tugging, that loneliness. I have spent my life searching everywhere, with everyone else, using so many things to find that contentment, but ultimately it boils down to my relationship with the Lord. I know this. Why do I fight it? Is it because I don't have a personal relationship with my earthly father and I have never had a close relationship with him? Is it because I have never been close to any father figure. My first father figure in my life was my grandfather. Oh, how my heart aches for him sometimes. My grandfather died in 2005 and it was right smack in the middle of my husband and my "troubled times" (another post). I have still not cried about the loss of my grandfather - the one father figure I did have in my life.

It seems that over the last few days I have touched on some things that I need to go deeper with. And someone has even suggested that I dig this stuff out and clear out the coop yet it's like I am casualy ignoring the subject. The subject of my relationship with my daughter, my mom, my childhood memories, or lack thereof, and now my grandfather comes up. I need to go here. I really do. But I'm shutting down.

So back to my original topic with Beth Moore and Breaking Free and the subject of Idols. Food has been my idol and it's a sin. I wear my sin on the outside for everyone to see. My Christian brothers and sisters can see that I am weak, a failure, confused about scripture, whatever. It's obvious that I'm not seeking HIM first. I'm more embarrassed than ashamed because as a Christian, shouldn't I know better?

"Can you see the strong tie between our quest for satisfaction and the worship of idols? The void God created in our lives for Himself will demand attention. We look desperately for something to satisfy us and fill the empty places. Our craving to be filled is so strong that the moment something or someone seems to meet our need, we feel an overwhelming temptation to worship it" ~ Beth Moore

So as I read from this little booklet, my prayer tonight is for God and only God fill me up and leave me completely satisfied in only YOU.

Breaking Free,
JEN