Monday, December 27, 2010

Family Adventure

Tonight we embark on our first real family vacation. We plan on leaving at 10pm in hopes that the kids will sleep for the 1st half of our travel. We hope to be in NC around breakfast time to see my Aunt Millie. Aunt Millie is the last surviving family member of my Grandpa's. We have not seen her since she was here days before Grandpa passed away. Oh how I miss him. He would get such a kick out of the kids. Especially Jackson!

So much to be grateful for this Christmas season. I plan on writing each day during our trip in hopes to make a Good Adventure story from it in an upcoming issue. Considering "My Story" will be featured in our Jan/Feb issue I hope to not "over due" it on the food and I plan to get some exercise considering I will not be back in the studio until the 6th of January.

It wouldn't be a Holiday without some family drama. Greg and I are working it out with our Lord about seeking forgiveness regardless of what may come of it. We must be obedient. Greg knows the mistakes he has made in his flesh but spiritually he wants nothing more than for all of us to be together and enjoy his family. This is a healing that only God can mend, so thank goodness he's in the restoring business!

"Forgiveness holds no record". We must remember this and take up our cross daily!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

How do you know?

How do you know it's God's still small voice in your head? How do you know? Is it just me and my own thoughts? We've had some unfortunate news about our trip to Virginia. All has fallen into place incredibly. Like God Sized amazing! The 2 bedroom suite on trade, the house/pet sitter, the money coming in, the car getting fixed, and it goes on and on. Every good gift is from HIM. Well today we found out that our hotel has had a huge flood from a frozen pipe and the hotel will be closed until after the 1st of the year. Uh oh! Now what? There are options to go to other Marriott hotels nearby and they could very well agree to the same accommodations, BUT, is this God telling us NOT to go? How do you know? And here I go searching for the WHY's in a circumstance. Maybe it just IS. It's so crazy to me how Greg gets a bunch of money today, all else false into place, and now the hotel gets pulled just days away. UGH.

As our home group read out of the book of James tonight... "My brother, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."

I like the NKJ version. I like the word "patience". The NIV uses "perserverance".

I like it too.

Thursday, December 16, 2010


I wanted to copy and paste what my husband recently posted on his facebook page. He asked everyone to comment about what "forgiveness" means to them. To define it. What does it look like, etc... He received so many comments, publicly and privately. It's been awesome to read. His response today really touched me because I have my own challenges with Forgiveness. I used to say early on when I was saved that "I didn't do anything wrong, why does Jesus forgive me". I would say things like, "I didn't murder or abuse or steal". Then I was reminded of a choice I made when I was 16 years old. It's not something I would ever mention or think about. It was an act that I have stuffed so far deep inside that I wouldn't ever speak the word. I don't remember feeling shame or guilt or anything about it though. I felt nothing. I justified by saying it was the best decision for me in my life. To Jesus it was murder.

So today I'm remembering the forgiveness that I have been given and I receive and am so eternally grateful for.

from Greg...."I would like to put out a challenge so to encouragement...if you will. Read through all of these responses and feel the love in there. Forgiveness is a NEED we all have and a want that goes more often than not... unsatisfied.

If there are people or situations in your life that need some Forgiveness, This year for Christmas GIVE that gift of Forgiveness. Release yourself and others from the burdens that hold us back and keep us from being free in our own skin. . I love the way Jenny Farmer put it "Thank you FOR GIVING" me that experience". What is our experience? We either grow or we stay stuck, it IS our own to have, to hold, or to let go of. Experiencing first hand the true power in forgiving and being forgiven is not even life changing, it is Life Altering. I pray that we all learned from this. I had no idea what to expect when I put it out there but it is undeniably so real and so vital in peoples hearts and lives, Let's step out and at least start the process of forgiveness this holiday season. If you think it can't be fixed or resolved....try really just laying down the hammer and nails and just FORGIVE. Even if the person we most need to forgive is ourselves. We are not made to live a prisoner to pain. FORGIVENESS. Try it. Give it. Receive it. Hearts will melt, relationships will be restored and people will be set free either us as the giver of forgiveness or the receiver of someone else's in return.

It isnt even that life is too short to hold grudges....Life cannot be lived to its fullest without freeing what is holding us captive. Please this year, we are all broke(n)...financially and spiritually bankrupt in many cases....we could change the world if everyone would give forgiveness and be forgiven. What a better time of year to do this? What a way to end a decade and begin a new one. Free. Truly free...

Thank you for answering, Thank you for sharing, Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for the love but Most importantly Thank You Lord for Forgiving me and setting me free and then sending me back out to help others who need to know the Freedom of Forgiveness. I am humbled beyond expression.

Merry CHRISTMAS everybody! For-Give the best gift this year!!! It really is the only gift that will keep on Giving........."

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Waiting on God

So what do you do while you wait on God? Read a book? Dance? Talk on the phone? And how long exactly does it take? You know, this is the hardest part. And my husband wants me to continue to plan and move forward as if there is no problem or care in the world about money. He wants us to move forward because he knows that God will provide. I mean, to know with that certainty. Well, I've always said that he has a bat phone directly to God.

How do I find the peace though in the waiting. I want to know NOW. Are we going or not? If I ask Greg he says "why of course we are going, why wouldn't we be". Maybe because we don't have any money and you haven't been paid in a few weeks. UGH.

When this started a few weeks back we needed a specific number to be able to do what we want to do with Christmas, gifts and our trip to Virginia, oh, and bills, cannot forget the bills. We needed a number. Now we are 800 closer to that number. God is moving and God is providing. Miracle after miracle has happened over the last few weeks. So why do I have a little bit of doubt still? I think it talks in MARK about a father that asks God, "God, I believe, now help me with my unbelief". So true. Yet, our Heavenly Father knows this. And it's ok. He loves us unconditionally, even in our unbelief.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

It sucks in the waiting

Yes, I said it. It Sucks! Sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks. I went from Praising HIM yesterday to today still praising HIM but a little frustrated. God always, always comes through, but the waiting sucks. There isn't much I can do except work on the magazine and hope that it's better than the last one. But that's for January. We need some serious fixing today. Right now. I know that all things work for the good for those that love HIM, I know this in my heart, but sometimes my mind gets the best of me and I let the enemy rent some space for a few moments. Sometimes those moments can turn into minutes and next thing I know I'm ranting and raving and shaking my fist up to God. YET, yet, I am still grateful. Jesus is my provider not GMH, Jesus! I am content regardless of my circumstances.

What an awesome e-group tonight. I am so thankful for the friends in my life. I am so excited to be doing life with the H-apostles. I love that name. It's a funny story. All of us in our group have last names that begin with H. So, we've come up with the H-apostles. hhaaa-apostles. Get it?

I hope and pray that we get to Virginia for Christmas. Lord, you know the desires of our hearts and YOU are our provider. If going to Virginia is in YOUR will, then please open the doors so we can walk in YOUR will. If it truly doesn't make sense and it isn't the best decision for our family and to Glorify YOU, then please, tell us. Close doors, make it so clear. But until that moment comes, we will walk the walk and act as if. It's about you God, YOU.

My new header...

I am so in love with it that I cannot stop looking at it. It makes me feel so good when I see it. I feel love and peace and new found beauty. Thanks so much to Jessica for her generosity and creativity. She is so talented and so giving. I love you girl!

I feel inspired to keep up with my little blog here. I visit some incredible blogs throughout my day and some of these women are so gifted in writing. I can't even come close to telling such a story with words. What I can do is just be honest and pour out what is in my heart. It doesn't necessarily have to be pretty, it's just good to get it out. This is my own neck of the blog world and I'm going to make the best of it here.

My husband started a blog. Check it out. Freedom of Forgiveness.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

He's moving...

God is definitely moving in our lives these days. Greg and I are facing some major adversity and yet in the midst of it all the storm is so calm and I have such contentment in my life. To be honest, I am so happy. Peace that surpasses all understanding. Seriously! I know what that feels like. I cannot explain it though. I am very grateful for our situation even though it totally doesn't look pretty.

We are still planning and talking about Virginia. We live by Faith, so by Faith we believe that all will come together and we will be leaving for Virginia on Christmas day. Wow, what a gift that will be. My mom totally doesn't get it. I guess I understand. Sort of. When I didn't live by Faith and only lived by Fear then I didn't get it either. She says that we don't live in reality. If she only knew what this feels like. I pray that she will know one day. I would take my worst day walking with the Lord then my best day not with the Lord. I told her today that I would rather live by Faith and Hope and Trust that all things will work out for us than live the life she lives in Fear or never doing anything because "oh, I don't have the money today". We didn't have the money we needed for our power bill on Friday - then by the Grace of God it gets paid on Monday morning. That was only God. No body else could of pulled that off.

How can you not believe?

I've seen God move so much lately and it is incredible to witness. AND, if all things work out for Christmas and our trip then what a witness this will be and how God will be so Glorified. I pray that God, and God only will be seen so huge in our situation right now. It doesn't look pretty, but I believe Lord, I Trust YOU. I do not wait on man but I wait on you.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Skeptic, Intellectual, Curious

I'm going to leave this information here on my blog because I want to have it organized and for it not to get lost. But maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there in Blogworld that isn't a believer. Maybe they have wondered what their purpose is here on earth, or maybe have thought, "hmm...possibly". Could there be someone that drops by me little blog and sees something written for skeptics or the very smart that are too intellectual to even consider the possibility that HE is real and lives today. Maybe, just maybe?

I learned about a man last night by the name of Josh Mcdowell. He actually has an incredible story. A very sad childhood. And later grown to be an agnostic believing that any God had turned his back on him and there would be no way that Jesus existed. In college he thought there was no way that man arose from the dead three days later. His intellectual mind could not get around that idea. So Josh was challenged to research intellectually and Josh discovered in his research the unmistakable evidence that Jesus is Lord!

On his website under Evidence for the Resurrection there are many resources. All the way towards the bottom under FREE ebooks there is one titled "Skeptics who Demanded a Verdict". This 100 page ebook includes the stories of C.S. Lewis, Josh himself and Charles Colson who served as special counsel for Richard Nixon during Watergate. Colson was charged and indited for something unrelated to Watergate.

So, I cannot wait to dive into this ebook that I'll probably finish tonight.

I find these stories fascinating. Primarily because there are so many days that I, myself, cannot get my head around some of the biblical facts. Some of it just makes no sense at all. Yet, I know it to be true. I live by Faith today and I know that God will give me all the understanding I need in HIS time!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Made to Crave

I love this book. Once it's released in January, I highly recommend it. Here is a glimpse from what I read today...

"It is good for God's people to be put in a place of longing so they feel a slight desperation. Only then can we be empty enough and open enough to discover the holiness we were made for. When we are stuffed full of other things and never allow ourselves to be in a place of longing, we don't recognize the deeper spiritual battle going on."

I mean, what a statement; "We need to be empty enough and open enough to discover the holiness we were made for." Do I even have any idea what I am made for? I know I am made to bring and give God glory. That is my only purpose on this earth. Yes, in my worldly ways, I am a mother, a daughter, a wife and a friend, but in those daily walks that I bear, am I glorifying God? Not even close. I fail miserably Yet his Mercy is new Do I get that? I forget it just as easily.

I was made for more. I am starting to get THAT. I get up early and hit the studio and I realize how important that task is for my day. It is huge. Vickie said today that getting there is 90% of it.

Yes - I'm getting there!