Today is the Day

I go to the doctor for a complete physical. What does that mean really? I want them to run every test they possibly can. I need to see how unhealthy I really am. I know I can look in the mirror and see it, but to me, seeing the numbers from the blood test or having some doctor I don't even know tell me that I am dying a slow death, I think maybe I'll listen. Not sure what it's going to take for me to pull it together. I am extremely uncomfortable. My breathing is shallow. I have heart palpitations. My knees and feet hurt so badly. My lungs wheeze. What else? Physically I am dying.

I was made for so much more.