It wasn't love at first sight. But I've watched many the past week just go crazy over this little puppy. Even grown men crumble to pieces at the site of Ruby. Yes, Ruby is her name. I picked out her name. I love her name and I'm starting to love her more.
I was very resentful of Ruby at first. It was a reminder of something else I didn't experience as a child. Along with this time of year, of never carving a pumpkin and yes, never did I have a dog, let alone a puppy. Since Ruby joined the family I've thought a lot about my childhood and how I don't have many fond memories. Nothing that I hold close to my heart with a smile.
The other night Ruby jumped on my lap and she was licking my face and loving on me and I just could not "get it". I was uncomfortable and wanted her to stop. Greg said to me, "Jen, enjoy the puppy, just enjoy the puppy". In that moment I realized that I wasn't allowing myself to really enjoy her. To marvel in the fact that we have this beautiful little puppy. Everyone loves a puppy. Greg reminded me to stop thinking about all that I didn't have growing up, but to enjoy this moment now that our kids are getting to have. "Jen, just enjoy the puppy". So I started to repeat it over and over while loving on Ruby. "Enjoy the puppy, Jen, enjoy the puppy". And slowly the wall started to crumble and I realized what a Joy it is to have this little puppy.
Isn't she precious? I love her!