I haven't wanted to write lately. I'm starting to question why I even want to? I think it began with knowing and realizing that people actually read this. I realized that this is "out there" for anyone to read. But isn't that the point? I say that I am doing this for me and my family and to be able to document my daily life, struggles, challenges, happy times, etc... But knowing that there may be people that know me who read this makes me feel unsure of doing it. I know it's crazy because I totally put myself out there on facebook and I have no problem doing that. I'm just as real there as I am here, so what is the difference? I don't really know. I'm praying about it.
I've been thinking about my "theme" for 2011 and what keeps coming to mind is "relationships". I want to nurture my relationships, especially with my daughter. I want to dig deep in my relationships and be truly authentic and transparent. I don't want to hide under the many masks that I sometimes still wear.
Synonyms for Relationship include, connection, affiliation, rapport, bond, liaison, link, correlation, association. I think connection and bond strick me the most. I want to bond with my daughter and I want to connect with her. I want to connect more with my girlfriends and not be the perfect narcissistic loving friend. Apparently I'm a dream friend for a narcissist because I'm all about them and when it comes to digging deeper with me I tend to back down.
Relationship - behavior or feelings toward somebody else: the connection between two or more people or groups and their involvement with one another, especially as regards the way they behave toward and feel about one another
So blogging and relationships may be on task for 2011.
And as my husband would say "2011 is for Heaven".
I think THAT relationship might be the most important one. My relationship with my Lord and Savior. He's the one I need to dig the deepest with.
1 Peter 5:6,7; Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.