A new year......

It's the most wonderful time of the year!! It's back to school time and Bella & Gavin are heading back tomorrow at 8am. Wow, 1st grade and 3rd grade. How the time flies. I remember being a young child and my mother and grandma would say to me, "jenny, don't wish your life away, when you get older time goes quickly". As a child I could never understand that. I just wanted to be older. How I wish I could go back and trust them and realize that time needs to be savored and not taken for granted.

I look at the beginning of the school year as "a new year" for mama. It's time to practice getting up earlier and maximizing my morning time. It's about taking care of myself and staying on top of my chores throughout the day so when the kids get home we have a productive afternoon. It's about being there for my family first.

I had my dear friend share some truth with me again this weekend. She always shares truth and she knows me so well. She said that I'm the perfect friend for the Narcissistic personality type friends that I have. I am so into their lives and what they are doing that my narcissistic friends thrive on that because it allows them to continue being and thinking they are so self important. This is so true. I've been this way for years. I get so wrapped up in other peoples lives and stories that my own life suffers. It's because I don't want to look at myself and all the things I'm not doing or should be doing. You know, I still don't have to look at it like the things I'm not doing, I want to start doing those things that I haven't started doing yet. Do you know what I mean?

So, with this new school year starting I say Hallelujah, it's going to be a great year for us all. My God is first, then my family!!

My dear friend

I have a very good friend. A god fearing wonderful friend. And when she speaks to me, I know she is speaking truth. When she tells me she prayed for me and got a Word, then I know it is truth. I stop. I listen. She was wondering if OA was also for her and in her thoughts and prayers she knew that God was telling her and I both that we did not need OA, but only HIM.

She tells me I'm one of the most stubborn people to the Word that she has ever met.

It's true.

I try to work the system and the Word for my personal, um, I don't know how to say it. Like, manipulation. I'm not sure how to explain it. But whatever I do, it's totally not cool.

The book of James she spoke from today. It's actually one of my favorite books in the bible. James writes clearly about listening and doing. As my dear friend said to me today, it should say, "my dear Jen..." rather than "my dear brothers". It was clearly written for me. And that was 2000 years ago!! Let me share with you. Oh, and by the way, I just turned on the light so I can read this verse from my bible while I write, and it is already highlighted! Ha! God knows what he is doing.

James 1:22 "do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does".

Even before I was saved, I always thought the answers were in the next self help book, or whatever Oprah was pushing on her latest show. And yet, knowing what I know, I am still searching and seeking for answers, when I certainly know, I really do know where I can find complete freedom. What is up with that? Complete freedom in Christ. He came to set the captives free. I know this!!!!

My head knows it but does my heart feel it? It's that feeling word again. I don't know what it's like to feel anything. What does humility feel like? Can I humble myself? Can I fall at His feet and feel the absolute safety of His loving arms?

Dear Lord, Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. Give me the grace to receive your truth and to believe your truth in my heart Father. Let me receive your truth in faith and love, and the strength to follow the path you have set before me. Lord, I pray today that you will give me a humble and teachable heart and obedient spirit so that I may receive your truth. Please reveal to me you, your face, your truth and your light. In Jesus' name!