Fasting...

I haven't updated in weeks. We had Greg's surprise party and then the kids have been off school for a teachers conference this week.

Now I am taking off again.

I am going to fast from my computer for 7 days. Start praying now! It is taking over my life. Imagine 7 days with the Lord. Imagine 7 days with my kids 100% with my kids.

I need prayers. I don't know how I'll get through it, but I know God will get me through it.

I can do all things...

Esther

I started Beth Moore's Esther Bible Study.

I'm totally bored with Day one. It is all like 483 b.c. and this king and Cyrus and Nebecasomething or other. I know Beth's studies are totally awesome and I will get so much out of it, but right now, you aren't grabbing me girl!

Busy week. Greg is driving me alittle crazy with his EPIC birthday party he wants to have. I get that he's 40 and all, but geez, mama doesn't work, I don't bring home any bacon, how am I to pull this off?

I haven't walked since Kelly and I went last week. I haven't thought about stepping foot into the Y either. It bums me out. Sometimes I wish my weight bothered me more so maybe I would do something about it. I struggle inside, I know it. But I am also the master manipulator and I hate to dig deep so the remote thought of any emotion or feeling coming to the surface I'm like, "oh, wait, what's that, and I get all A.D.D. and want to change the subject, or rather feeling". I always like to blame "the enemy", but really it's a battle with the flesh each and every day.

One of my favorite mommy blogs I recently started visiting here http://homeswheremyheartis.blogspot.com/ put this incredible picture of a women at Jesus' feet. Maybe I should know who? Mary, Martha, Esther? The prostitute? I don't know. But the picture was incredible and I literally could feel a twinge inside me, but oh no, God forbid, I feel deeply and some emotion. Someone left a comment with this verse and I love it....

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says,
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Survived

Well, we survived our walk. It was actually really nice. Kind of drizzling though and cold, but it was great. I felt alive and so happy to get out and do something good for myself. Long way to go!

Something I need to get really honest about is my obsession with reading mommy blogs. I believe in my heart it has become a new idol. I am putting my reading before most things. I look so forward to it. All my mommy blogs inspire me, give me ideas and courage. I know I need to find those things first in the Word. I do start a new bible study on Monday, Esther, with Beth Moore. I love Beth. I may have to step back from all the blog reading. What's that word? Moderation? Shoot. I could barely spell it.

Off to lunch now with MIMI and GiGi and the kids, then Greg is taking them to a movie. Yay, house to myself while Jackson sleeps! Love it.

Walking

Kelly and Cy are walking to our house tomorrow and I am walking back with them to their house. It's a really long long walk. Kelly is being encouraging and I am trying to make up more excuses. I know I'm going to have a heart attack or my shoes will fall apart and I know my boobs are going to sway in the wind and cause me to be blind. And Jackson will stroll along in the stroller.

Ok, so I know I can do it. I can do anything right? I'm kinda nervous. I know I will feel great afterwards and Jackson will love it.

Prayers are welcome about 10am tomorrow morning.

OR, if you want to make plans so I can get out of this, I'm all for it!

Happy Birthday Jackson!

Wow, where does the time go?

This year has flown by with Jackson. Happy Birthday baby boy. You have brought such Joy to our family. You are truly a Blessing from our Lord. Thank you God for giving us Jackson.

Stuffed

I am stuffed.

Stuffed with brownies and cookies and crap!

I hate feeling this way. What is it going to take? There is only one way. It's time to release the strongholds on my life. I want to feel free. Not just feel free, but to be free. What is that like?

"Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you. Galatians 5:1"

But what does that mean to me? Can I even dig deep enough to understand the meaning of this verse?

I realize that I can do all things. I am more than a conqueror. I know that when I am free I will be able to do incredible things for our Lord.

God, please use me. What is it that I need to do? I know that this body does not show your work and your Glory. I believe that my life, in you, is for a greater purpose. Show me the way Father.

Amen!

Resolutions or Goals?

Resolution: A resolve or determination.

Goals: The result or achievement towards.

I think I like the word "Goals" better. I'm really not one to make New Years resolutions. I feel as if it is setting myself up to fail. I'm really used to not completing a task; although, I would like to think I have gotten better about this, I don't necessarily know how true it is.

I have to admit with the New Year upon us I have thought alot about Goals. Short term goals and the long term ones. I started out with the short term. i.e. taking the bins out of Jacksons room. OK, done. I did it. One down. Now what? Here is what I hope to accomplish this month.

• Start and continue with my Passages bible study.
• Start and continue with Esther bible study at Lakeview.
• Keep up with this blog.
• Organize the kids rooms. Although, this may be considered "long term".
• Meal plan! Make healthy meal choices.
• Get to the Y and exercise, not just talk to everyone.

Let's see where we are at on February 1st.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13